Tag: depression

Tired of feeling it all?

Today I am tired. Today I want to cry. And rage. Seeing that some people value their lives and health at the cost of a doughnut, a beer, $300. To see the utter vitriol being spewed forth by some breaks my heart. I want to go back into my shell and sleep forever and never

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I am still learning

I’ve done a lot of ‘work’ on my traumas and self healing. And yet still I find myself choosing to be alone. To process alone. Not reaching out to those I love and trust even though I know they would be there for me. Still putting others needs before my own and not speaking up

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How much love do you give yourself?

The more I crack open deeply, the more parts of myself I find that I haven’t been giving love to. And the deeper I go the more I discover the depths of love I still have to give to the parts of myself I thought I had been loving wholly. It’s been a powerful journey

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Showing up fully in front of my children

My kids have seen me laughing. My kids have seen me breaking down. My kids have seen me in raw, primal, unbound sadness where I didn’t control any of the sounds coming out of me. And I love that. Because what doesn’t seem like very long ago I was a woman who held it all

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What is a life changing event?

If you know me personally you have probably heard me call almost every experience I have had life changing. That’s because I believe every experience is, otherwise what’s the point of having it? For me if I jump in to do something it’s because I know there is something deep in it for me. I

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The F off Mood of this week

Today on my coaching call I said “fuck off with your coaching.” “I’m tired of doing processes.” “I don’t want to be coached I just want to be heard.” And today I was heard. I cried. I laughed. I swore. I spoke. And in those moments of being heard, of having my boundary respected over

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She Smiles

She smiles Yet it doesn’t reach her eyes The depth of her pain Kept locked away inside She yearns to reach out And express the whirlwind within Yet her past torments her Reminders crawling on her skin Will she? Won’t she? Or will she close up and flee? Past patterns repeating Until one day she

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My Soul Knows

I’ve often wondered why it was that my body rejected my suicide attempt that evening when I sliced at my wrists and took a heap of drugs with some alcohol and went to sleep planning to never wake up. I’ve often wondered why it was that during my operation to remove my cancer that was

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Feel it all

I have awoken feeling vulnerable and tender. Last night I released something during a beautiful cacao and conscious clubbing celebration. My entire body felt it and feels tender today and I honour that. And also I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said “I just fucking love my life so much” To either myself

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Self doubt is a dick.

I could be happy and smiling but deep down wondering why I actually wasn’t good enough or how I could do or be better. I still have my moments of questioning sometimes. But then I heard the lesson of ‘maybe people aren’t giving you recognition because you need to give it to yourself first’. Holy

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