Tag: depression

What is a life changing event?

If you know me personally you have probably heard me call almost every experience I have had life changing. That’s because I believe every experience is, otherwise what’s the point of having it? For me if I jump in to do something it’s because I know there is something deep in it for me. I

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The F off Mood of this week

Today on my coaching call I said “fuck off with your coaching.” “I’m tired of doing processes.” “I don’t want to be coached I just want to be heard.” And today I was heard. I cried. I laughed. I swore. I spoke. And in those moments of being heard, of having my boundary respected over

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She Smiles

She smiles Yet it doesn’t reach her eyes The depth of her pain Kept locked away inside She yearns to reach out And express the whirlwind within Yet her past torments her Reminders crawling on her skin Will she? Won’t she? Or will she close up and flee? Past patterns repeating Until one day she

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My Soul Knows

I’ve often wondered why it was that my body rejected my suicide attempt that evening when I sliced at my wrists and took a heap of drugs with some alcohol and went to sleep planning to never wake up. I’ve often wondered why it was that during my operation to remove my cancer that was

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Feel it all

I have awoken feeling vulnerable and tender. Last night I released something during a beautiful cacao and conscious clubbing celebration. My entire body felt it and feels tender today and I honour that. And also I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said “I just fucking love my life so much” To either myself

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Self doubt is a dick.

I could be happy and smiling but deep down wondering why I actually wasn’t good enough or how I could do or be better. I still have my moments of questioning sometimes. But then I heard the lesson of ‘maybe people aren’t giving you recognition because you need to give it to yourself first’. Holy

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My experience means something

Today my Coach told me I was taking the easy way. And as soon as she said it I knew she was right. The easy way means I get to stay in the idea of helping people without actually causing someone pain. What if I say the wrong thing? What if what I say causes

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Sovereignty

If you had asked me 10 years ago what I think people might remember me for I never in a million years would have thought someone would think of the word Sovereignty when it came to me. For years I gave away the power over myself to everyone else. You want to have sex with

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Allowing it all

I never used to allow myself to experience the full range of emotions. I ignored it when I needed to cry. I held it in when I needed to yell. I kept my mouth shut when I wanted to disagree. I stuffed so many emotions down inside me because if they weren’t happiness then I

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