Tag: depression

She Smiles

She smiles Yet it doesn’t reach her eyes The depth of her pain Kept locked away inside She yearns to reach out And express the whirlwind within Yet her past torments her Reminders crawling on her skin Will she? Won’t she? Or will she close up and flee? Past patterns repeating Until one day she

Continue reading

My Soul Knows

I’ve often wondered why it was that my body rejected my suicide attempt that evening when I sliced at my wrists and took a heap of drugs with some alcohol and went to sleep planning to never wake up. I’ve often wondered why it was that during my operation to remove my cancer that was

Continue reading

Feel it all

I have awoken feeling vulnerable and tender. Last night I released something during a beautiful cacao and conscious clubbing celebration. My entire body felt it and feels tender today and I honour that. And also I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said “I just fucking love my life so much” To either myself

Continue reading

Self doubt is a dick.

I could be happy and smiling but deep down wondering why I actually wasn’t good enough or how I could do or be better. I still have my moments of questioning sometimes. But then I heard the lesson of ‘maybe people aren’t giving you recognition because you need to give it to yourself first’. Holy

Continue reading

My experience means something

Today my Coach told me I was taking the easy way. And as soon as she said it I knew she was right. The easy way means I get to stay in the idea of helping people without actually causing someone pain. What if I say the wrong thing? What if what I say causes

Continue reading

Sovereignty

If you had asked me 10 years ago what I think people might remember me for I never in a million years would have thought someone would think of the word Sovereignty when it came to me. For years I gave away the power over myself to everyone else. You want to have sex with

Continue reading

Allowing it all

I never used to allow myself to experience the full range of emotions. I ignored it when I needed to cry. I held it in when I needed to yell. I kept my mouth shut when I wanted to disagree. I stuffed so many emotions down inside me because if they weren’t happiness then I

Continue reading

Me + Integration

Recently I was going through the biggest integration experience I’ve ever felt. My entire body had aches and pains along with the most horrible migraines and I just did not want to human anymore. But I allowed it all. I didn’t shame myself for feeling the things I was feeling. I knew they were just

Continue reading

I was that person

It saddens me when I see people celebrating how they don’t let anyone in. Or they are done with humans/men/women. It saddens me because I was that person. It saddens me because I still fight that programming sometimes. The thoughts of should I be sharing in this connection or will they just leave me like

Continue reading