I was that person

It saddens me when I see people celebrating how they don’t let anyone in.

Or they are done with humans/men/women.

It saddens me because I was that person.

It saddens me because I still fight that programming sometimes.

The thoughts of should I be sharing in this connection or will they just leave me like the rest of the people?

The wondering if I can actually trust them to hold me in my deepest fears and desires.

Feeling scared that if I be all of me will they truly accept me like they say they will or is it all a farce.

I know this all stems from wounding.

The parent who left you behind.

The friend who said they love all of you yet leave when they experience a side they decide they can’t handle.

The partner who cheated or lied to you behind your back.

It’s all wounding.

It’s not real.

We get to choose if we allow this wounding to affect our life in its current reality.

Is it scary to let someone in after experiencing all of this? Of course.

Will you get hurt again if you trust new people? Possibly.

But at what cost is it if you stop letting anyone in?

I know what it would have cost me if I had not taken that leap of faith and started trusting people with who they showed themselves to be with me.

Yes it hasn’t always played out in a way that I enjoyed. Yes sometimes I have been hurt.

But I still wouldn’t take back the opening of my heart.

I’ve gained far more than I have ever lost.

You can too if you let it.

Xo S