By Years ago my husband offered to let me peg him because he had read some studies about how it helps women who have been sexually assaulted get their power back.
I even bought a strap on.
But I never could bring myself to even think about it.
The idea of needing to have power over my husband to get myself back just never made sense.
And now I know why.
He is the man I love.
What gave me my power back is his depth of love, honour, devotion and respect for me and who I am and my body.
He was the one who showed me how to love me again.
He was the one who showed me that I can trust men and am safe in their presence.
I didn’t need to physically penetrate him to realise my power.
And in fact, if he had let me do that, I probably would have lost my faith in him.
Because he is my protector and lover. I need him to be strong. Not bend to the will of my trauma.
But it is what I love about him. He researches everything and is willing to give it a go if he thinks it will help us as a whole.
Even if it means losing his ‘manhood’ so to speak.
But I’m glad I didn’t need to go to those lengths to ‘fix’ or ‘heal’ my trauma.
I did that myself with a loving devoted husband by my side.
No needing to penetrate his body to find that for me.
And if I thought I needed to do it now my husband would be a no. We have learnt a lot more since then and it is definitely not the answer.
And if you feel as though you need to have some power over a man to heal your trauma I invite you to look deeper into why you feel that way.
Because hurting someone else to heal is never the answer in my opinion.
Xo S
Shannii Maree - Strong Without Realising 