“You feel different”.
It’s a comment I receive so regularly now. I’m not really surprised, I am grateful though, when it comes from the people who have been at ground level of my development work because they have seen me warts and all.
When it comes from my friends who have been in my life for some time however is when I take a step back and think wow! I’ve always felt comfortable with you, I didn’t think I am being any different now and yet it is felt.
Hearing that people are receiving me different has been such an eye opener for me and I’m so grateful when I receive feedback like this.
I used to be afraid of feedback, and really feedback is just other people’s perceptions of you, you can choose whether to take it on or not.
Feedback has allowed me to shift the way I am being in the world and for that I am thankful.
Sometimes the sting of feedback would have me in defensive mode, after all, we are all viewing people through our own mirror lenses right? So I would brush the feedback off as they don’t know me or that’s their own stuff or it doesn’t matter.
Yet I missed a perfect opportunity to open myself to people. People who gave me feedback, I found, were wanting to know me more in depth rather than just at surface level. And all humans really want is connection right?
Going deep with humans has taught me so much about human connection.
Up until a while ago I was a person who only really half connected in the past for fear of getting hurt.
Now I’m an open book, if I happen to end up hurt along the way then I can deal with that then. Until then, and after then if it happens, I will be who I am – an open book unafraid of what another human could potentially do to my heart.
After all, I am responsible for my feelings right?