If someone doesn’t truly want the change, the experience, the thing they say they desire – they will be unconsciously, or consciously doing things to ensure they don’t get it.
Perhaps because they don’t believe they are worthy.
Perhaps because they think it isn’t actually possible.
Perhaps because the amount of love and care they receive due to their circumstance is beyond any other experience they don’t want to risk losing that.
And so they hold on.
Ever so slightly.
A self deprecating comment here. A retelling of stories there. A burying down of something they want because others deserve it more.
All of this and more can be present.
You can give all the examples in the world of the magic that happens when you let go of those beliefs but they will still choose to hold on to them.
And I get it. It’s scary to feel like you are jumping off a ledge.
It’s scary to know you are totally in control of everything in your life from this moment forward if you choose to be.
I could choose to road rage that person who didn’t let me in or the one who cut me off, or I could choose to feel the anger and process it and not need to project it at anyone else.
Anger is not the bad guy here.
Holding onto all the anger, guilt, shame and rejected feelings are what causes the rifts in your life.
Learn to harness those emotions and not make them wrong and your life will start shifting.
If you are always telling your stories of all the traumas you have experienced you can actually be doing yourself a disservice.
Our minds want to control and understand everything and sometimes that just isn’t possible.
Life is a bunch of choices and opportunities.
And life begins to transform when you start truly feeling everything, not bypassing, not holding on but feeling and releasing and harnessing.
I’ve told my stories many times, I may tell them many times more.
I don’t share so that you can pat me on the back and say wow you have survived so much. I share because I have no attachment to the stories. Telling the stories does not evoke an emotional response in my body anymore.
What I do know is that the life I lead now would not be possible if I hadn’t started to work within my body and loving all it has done for me and been through.
If I hadn’t truly become embodied and realized what that meant for me, my journey may look a little different.
The first step was understanding myself and my feelings and finding mentors who could hold me and tell me the truth when I wasn’t seeing it for myself.
But the key was – I wanted it. Truly wanted to know that side of myself that I felt a niggle of but hadn’t experienced.
And unless someone wants that, and is willing to say goodbye to the stories, they will not hear what you have to say, even if it seems like they are.