I thought my weight mattered

When my hubby first started showing interest in me I thought he was crazy.

I thought I was too fat for him.

Why would he want a fat brunette when he has a skinny blonde hanging around.

And I know so many women have had similar thoughts to this in relation to similar things in their life.

That’s how deep societal conditioning has run during my growing up years.

Why on earth would my weight matter in relation to someone being interested in me?

Or me being worthy of that attention or affection?

I feel for that woman who thought she had to be a certain number on the scales to be worthy of love and affection.

I feel for that woman who thought that value was equal to appearance.

And I feel for the women who still run these stories.

I get it.

It’s not easy to run a different story in this world that tells you rules and lines and charts we should follow.

That scar should be removed. That stretch mark is ugly. That birth mark is not aesthetic enough so that should be removed too. That fat roll is gross and it totally needs to be sucked out. Actually all of the fat needs to be gone.

These days the pendulum is swinging and there are a lot more different shapes and sizes of women available for all of us to witness and admire in the media.

Yet I still see the stories playing out.

Within myself and within others.

Eat this, don’t eat that, do this exercise, don’t do that one, listen to this person, don’t listen to that person, blah blah blah

If you want to find it you can find it.

I’ve even seen it play out in books I’ve read and tv shows I’ve watched.

It takes a lot of self awareness to notice the stories we have been running within ourselves.

And then it takes a lot more to choose differently to whatever stories we have chosen in the past.

It’s always possible to achieve whatever we desire to achieve and to change the stories we thought were just a part of us forever though.

It starts with us.

Xo S