Miss Independent

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When I moved to Australia as a 15 yr old with my younger brother and sister I never could have guessed the direction my life would take.

6 months later after meeting the guy who would later become the father of my two oldest children I moved into his place with his dad and brother.

And never returned home again.

After my daughter was born we started looking to move out from his dads place.

We found a nice real estate agent who was willing to give an 18 yr old young mum and a 21 yr old unemployed guy a chance and contacted an owner of a unit who gave permission to give us their place to rent.

And that was my first home. I laugh to think back about our little 2bdrm unit we rented for $150 a week in Kelvin Grove, right near Brisbane City. Wonder how much that place goes for now!

And I feel so much gratitude to the owner who took a chance on us new parents. That was truly the beginning of where my life began as an adult.

Independence has always been my jam.

Asking for help has never been my forte.

I lived off weetbix just to make sure my kids had good food when I was a single mum rather than ask anyone for help.

My belief was that I put myself in the situation I will get myself out.

It’s just never felt right to ask for other people’s money they work for. Money stories there that I’m aware of now.

But it also feels good to me to say I did it on my own. Probably because I was raised by my single mum. I definitely think I picked up some ‘on my own’ conditioning there haha

Since then I have owned and experimented with many businesses, and received love and help from many different places.

But if you had asked me as a 15 yr old where I would be in 23 years time I would never have said anything remotely close to what I am living now.

Is it perfect? No.

Does it have its ups and downs? Yes.

Do I still go to hyper independence rather than ask for help? Yes sometimes I do.

But now I am aware of when it is happening.

Awareness is the game changer for anything we do in life.

I can eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and not put myself down about it and be totally aware of why I am doing it.

I no longer drink or do drugs to hide from my sorrows. Instead you are far more likely to see me screaming, crying or dancing to move through whatever I am feeling.

Or writing a blog post haha

Did 15 yr old me know this was possible? Definitely not.

When I moved to Australia all I knew was I wanted to leave New Zealand.

And with the way I was heading over there I can’t imagine my life would have ended up anywhere near close to what it is now.

I don’t like looking at the past, unless it is to remind me of how far I have come so that I can keep moving forward, knowing that one day I will look upon today with gratitude.

Knowing that even if today is the worst day right now and I don’t know how I will make it to another one, if I keep going, I won’t regret it.

I have a lot of proof in my time account to show that is exactly what has happened for me time and again.

Those little choices I’ve made. And the big ones too. The people who gave me a chance. The places I’ve experienced. The people I’ve met. All of it has happened because I chose to do something. Change something. Experience something.

One thing led to another and to another.

And that’s exactly what life is.

Putting one foot in front of the other, taking one step at a time. Knowing that even if sometimes it feels more like a cha-cha you have still been moving forward.

Hold onto that thought if you are having a bad day.

That’s what I do.

Xo S

2 comments on “Miss Independent”

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