“Call him out on it” my coach said.
I can’t do that. He’s way above me who I am to say how he has acted is pretty shitty was what I thought in response.
Yet that is the lesson right?
No one is ever above you.
Stop pedastooling people.
It doesn’t matter if they are a highly paid coach or world renowned speaker or some random dude in a club. (Or woman – I am just speaking into men because that has been my experience for myself)
You get to call them forward and open their eyes to whatever they may have spoken or done.
So I did.
I messaged the person and spoke into what they had done and how it made me feel.
Yes it was from a trigger of my own, but that doesn’t make it any less important.
And his behavior was what most might refer to as ‘boys will be boys’ but that’s all a part of rape culture and I believe it gets to change.
He also tried to turn it on me which I guess is a reaction to expect.
In the end he apologized and understood how it could have been seen the way I saw it.
Was it scary? Yep!
I was shaking while contacting him.
Was it a huge step forward in speaking into how my boundary felt encroached upon?
Am I now more comfortable in saying “hey that behavior doesn’t align with the values you are teaching” ? Of course!
One action is all it takes to move forward in your journey.
One conversation, one call, one moment which leads to the next.
Take each moment as it comes.
Take a breath and be in your body.
Ensure you are coming from that deep place of trust within yourself.
When you come from this place nothing can shake you.
Your voice gets to be heard. It’s welcome and invited and as important as anyone else’s voice.