Dance, Mean Girls and Knowing Ones self

Once at dance class, right near when I first started this year, when we did the usual activity of going to partner with someone we don’t know I turned and made my way over to these girls who then got up and walked away from me, even caught a side eye from one of them.

At first I was like ok rude. And many people would take this as rejection and it would truly hurt their heart. It could even stop them from coming back. Which makes me sad.

But then I was like actually fuck yes. If I’m not your person don’t pretend to be.

Unless you are behaving that way because you are friends with someone who knows me (or thinks they do) and has told you stories and instead of being an adult and making up your own mind you forget that there are always more sides to the story than theirs and they probably sold it to you to make themselves feel better, then to that I say may your mind become your own one day.

Knowing who are and aren’t your people is a skill to really hone. And decide for yourself, not for anyone else.

Bullshit pretense is definitely not my jam.

And those girls were young so it’s not their fault they don’t yet have life figured out and they are probably still very much in the clique faze too. Who knows.

As for me – I don’t do fake. I can’t pretend I like someone. But many people can.

So when I see someone standing strong in who they are I celebrate them.

Please know that when I say something to you, or smile at you or interact with you at all, it’s coming from my heart, and I am choosing that interaction because if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t and I often don’t.

Even if in the past we have had problems, if i’m talking to you it’s because I want to.

And if I do feel a type of way I will either discuss it with you if I feel that’s what it needs or if I know it’s my own trauma or conditioning then I won’t bring it up because it’s not you then it’s me. That’s not a lone wolf thing that’s a self awareness thing. Another skill I recommend dialing down on.

I do understand that people have businesses and need to keep their income coming in, maybe this is why I just can’t do business anymore. Because no matter how much you pay me if I don’t like you I don’t like you and I don’t want your money and it will be because of my own interactions, not someone else’s 😅

I have learned so much about myself through having so many different connections over the years. The biggest one is learning to love no matter where people are at. Even if they are bugging the shit out of me. I can just choose to not be so invested in that person.

Anyway all this to say – we aren’t meant to like every person on this planet. So don’t feel guilty if you don’t.

I will always make up my own mind and you get to too.

And also – smiling never hurt anyone. Even if you can’t stand the person.

XO S