Boundaryless?

Being boundaryless is really fucking sexy.

Before you get triggered read on…

My husband is the ONLY man I will ever be boundaryless for.

He is the only one who has earned the level of trust and safety it takes to feel that with a man.

Do I believe women shouldn’t have boundaries with men? No. I do not.

Why?

Because the majority of men are running around having no clue how to be a safe, loving, devoted space for a woman to let those boundaries down.

It needs to be earned. And you can’t change my mind on that.

Unfortunately this isn’t an ideal world where men are all self attuned and aware and women feel safe in the presence of all men.

This doesn’t mean softness. It doesn’t mean compliance. It doesn’t mean no choice. It doesn’t mean no voice.

My husband has been to the depths with me. He has held me through traumas. He has heard me in my Nos. He has felt me in them.

So much so that now I don’t need to speak it because for 16 years he has experienced me, my nervous system, my body and my reactions.

He has shown time and again how willing he is to go forth and learn and grow as a man so that he can be the man a strong woman requires.

And he is the only man I need. He gets my best, especially since he has held me through my worst.

So it’s really fucking sexy to know I don’t need to say No to him because he knows me so well that anything he does for us I know is for our best interests.

If you had told me when I first met him that I would be in a space to know I don’t need to have boundaries anymore I would have laughed at you and maybe, if I’m honest, slapped you.

If I ever do feel the need to voice a No I also know that he will hear me.

This kind of love is possible. But it isn’t possible with every man.

I truly wish it was though. But just because it isn’t doesn’t mean it will never happen for you either.

Today we celebrate 12 years married. Yet we have been relating for 16 years.

This kind of relationship doesn’t just happen. It takes both people being willing to make it happen.

Xo S