Fall and get back up

Today I fell into the cracks.

Or should I say the gulley of social media and plastic surgery.

Yes it was another one of those days.

I found myself scrolling through hourglass figures and noticed my mind going into the I am not enoughness and my body isn’t enough as she is.

The more I scrolled the deeper I fell.

The less I felt like I was enough as I am.

All those shapes and curves looking so perfect and beautiful.

It didn’t matter that it wasn’t natural. It just mattered that it looked good.

Then I found myself thinking about all the women who have these surgeries then share themselves as if that is their natural body.

And about all the women who might see those posts and then feel not enough because they don’t look like that.

This time, I knew I was looking at surgery patients and their results.

But what if it had been a woman that I admire and crush on?

Like so many people use social media for?

Only sharing the videos and photos and poses and moments that they look good in?

Then my thoughts got even worse because I share how much I love my body but here I was desiring to turn my body into something else again.

For aesthetics.

What the hell is that?

The self punishment then arrives.

“I should know better”

“What a fake I am”

“How could I say I love myself”

All the things.

But as I write this I realise I am a human who has human thoughts.

And some days those thoughts aren’t how much I Iove my body and what she can do for me.

Some days those thoughts are what the hell is my body doing to me, I don’t like it, I want better and feeling totally frustrated with my body.

Life isn’t about getting it right and perfect all the time.

How boring would that be?

It is about getting back up any time you trip and fall. Dusting yourself off and going ok I see that part of myself and I’ll accept it anyway.

No matter how many times I may trip, I get up again every time.

And you can too.

Xo S