It’s only today

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Today I’m in my shit

Today I don’t feel worthy

Today I don’t feel like showing up

Today I don’t feel like it matters if I show up

Today all my shit is on the surface

Today I’m in a fuck you mood

Today my stomach is turning

Today the tears are falling

Today the guilt is heavy

Today my shame is owning me

Today I don’t see the good in me

Today my heart is heavy

Today I have no love to give

Today I don’t feel enough

Today I see all the contradictions

Today I see all the questions and no answers

Today I don’t feel worthy to remove this emotion

Today I am the heaviness

Today I don’t want to be in my body

Today my shadows own me

Today I want to apologize for just being me

Today I am the negative energy that people avoid because they don’t want to be sucked into the void

Today I don’t know how I will make it to tonight

But that’s only today right?

Written 8 April 2020

Xo S

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