The last piece of my puzzle, of this particular journey, fell into place.
I never realized how much I wanted to be touched by people now.
I walked around giving touch to people and feeling really fucking happy.
I was in my natural state. The one I’ve come to love and adore. And I felt safe and held and not like a weirdo.
I didn’t realize that what I was giving people was actually what I wanted to receive.
Not until I received it.
I felt the love pouring into my body and it shook me to my core.
I’ve felt love before. But this was different.
On so many levels the people were touching me. It wasn’t just about the physical touch. They were touching me on a soul level too. On an interdimensional level. In every level imaginable they penetrated me with their love.
It was overwhelming.
I had to surrender my all to it.
As my body shook receiving all of it, as it shakes right now while I write this, I received. I received like I’ve never received before.
I’ve had plenty of people tell me they have got me, that they can hold me, that I’m safe. But I’ve never felt it the way I felt it in these moments this weekend.
I believed in them.
I believe in me because of them.
They gave me the gift of touch again.
I have come to love hugs over the last few years but to sit while people held me and caressed my skin with love. That was different.
No urge to push away their hand or say stop. Just receiving their frequency.
Feeling connected in those moments.
I didn’t realize how much I wanted that which was missing.
I didn’t even realize it was missing.
Now I’ve found it I won’t ever let it go.
I had no idea what I was going to receive this weekend but I knew it would be powerful.
I just didn’t realize how powerful exactly.
This is what happens when you trust and surrender.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again – Jax is magic. She has a gift like no other I’ve ever experienced. When she says something I believe her. I feel her. I trust her.
She, and the rest of the tribe this weekend, gave my husband the gift of seeing himself.
That was a love I had so much honor witnessing.
I had many honors this weekend, but receiving the gift of touch was my highest one.
So for that I thank you, all of you. For returning my love of touch.
I love you ❤️