Im not good enough.
What makes me worthy?
Maybe I’m too much?
Those wounds have been in and out of my consciousness for years upon years.
As they are for many of us it seems.
What causes so many of us to have thoughts like these?
This past week I uncovered a belief I’ve placed upon myself that quite possibly has been the reason behind these statements.
You see when I was a teenager I left school early and one of my parents told me they were disappointed in me, they had higher hopes for me, and that if the rest of my siblings left school and ruined their lives it would be my fault. (Side note: I love my parents and I wouldn’t be who I am if they had been anything other than who they were. Thanks Mum and Dad ❤️)
I was 15 when that was said to me.
May not seem like much. And maybe it isn’t to others.
Maybe you had something different that caused these beliefs to arise. Something as simple as asking your parents to play with you and they said they didn’t have time could do it.
For me this one statement created this belief that things I said or did could potentially ruin someone else’s life. That was a lightbulb moment during a coaching call that I was not expecting.
When people ask me what I’m doing, whether I could coach them, or what I could teach them I’ve instinctively put myself down and retracted from that, because of this statement.
I have had moments of stepping out of it but I always seem to step back into that belief of ‘I don’t want to hurt anybody’
Yet my coach said to me “what if the reason that was said to you was so that you could grow through it and help others find their voices?
I’ve become good at being the listener and I’ve always reveled in that. Truly helping people feel seen and heard.
But what if my skill of only listening and never offering advice was actually because I am afraid of saying the wrong thing?
How many of us quiet our voices for fear of saying the wrong thing?
I know I’m not alone in this.
Facebook is easy to say what I want, I can take time to really think about what I’m saying.
It’s much easier to write it than speak it. And if people don’t like it they can move on.
There is no attachment there for me.
What if all these things I’m afraid of are actually what might make me a facilitator who actually truly cares about my clients and their experience?
What if because of this deep care and love within me I am able to bring people to the truth of themselves?
That is the belief I choose to reframe the other belief I took on as a teenager into.
My soul purpose was to come here to play, heal, create, love and bring more people back home to themselves and now that I’ve learnt I’ve been holding this belief I can let it go and step into the woman I came here to be.
My deep desire to be of service to humanity in the way my life experience has gifted me knowledge to use, has only been cemented deeper.
That’s my declaration for today.
Because as my coach so perfectly put it “don’t be so self centered you keep yourself small and don’t play your role in this world” 💥💥💥
And as Nahko says “I’ll make a difference and I will have lived it.
What can you declare or reframe today to step more into your role in this world?