The initiation that felt like I dissolved into nothing.

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I was gifted a deep initiation into the remembrance of who I am at the Awaken Retreat in Feb 2022.

Something I’ve always known but to viscerally experience it in this way was beyond profound. And I am forever thankful for the ones who held me through it, who kept me grounded to this plane when I could have easily absconded, and who knew exactly what to say and do to keep me safe. Keeping my awareness on them and not transmuting what was happening next to us.

I quite often speak of knowing who I am and what I do. But not really having a description for it.

And I love that about me. You can throw your boxes on the fire I ain’t climbing in. Ever. (OK maybe one box I like is being a Merfairy 🧜🏾‍♀️🧚🏾‍♀️ but that’s outside my point 🤣)

📸 Blake Lewis

But these past couple of months saw me in a spiral of not knowing, not trusting, not believing.

I guess that’s what you would call the pit. And I was deep in it.

So this experience blew my physical body to smithereens and shattered every old belief I’ve ever held.

It was the culmination of everything I have ever seen all rolled up into one magnifique experience.

I noticed my feet disappearing. And I couldn’t figure out why. I just couldn’t feel them anymore. This slowly progressed into what has lovingly been named now the Shannii Shake because it always happens. But this time was different. Perhaps because of what was happening around me.

And I didn’t think I could make it.

But I did. And I am so deeply grounded in the knowledge of my journey.

I’ve never before experienced my Tūpuna in that way either. My pounamu burned hot for hours from the experience. I felt them with me. Others saw them behind me. I have an army with me. I’ve known it, many have seen it, but now I’ve experienced it. I felt them cleansing my energy with water as we do in our Māori culture. I’ve felt that with every journey I’ve ever taken, so to finally have the answer that no it’s not a physical human doing that for me gave me another sense of deep knowing and understanding of where I come from and what I’m here to do.

My spiritual connection doesn’t look like anyone else’s. Because it’s not meant to. None of us are meant to be the same and do the same.

And the more I see people doing, or trying to do, ‘the same’ the more I confirm this belief in my mind. Cookie cutter humans are in the spiritual world just as much as the 3D world.

Awaken is the gift that is forever giving.

Just try to tell me I don’t do enough now. Watch what happens 😉🔥🐉🌌

Mama Hawk has never left. She is me. I am her.

I will never interfere in your experience. I trust in you to get there. I’ll support you though and I’ll never make it about me. You have enough people in your lives doing that already.

My desire is that you don’t feel like you have to attend the next event, sign up for the next course, pedastool another guru, do all the things to feel better. You get to learn and embody your own power.

I don’t have a need to be liked by every human so I’m willing to do things others aren’t. And I’m willing to be ‘left behind’ if I no longer resonate with someone with who I be.

I want to see you realise your power, and your softness, and all the magic in between.

I will hold you to your highest on your soul level yet your human may not recognize it. Yet.

My purpose is to elicit soul passion beyond the status quo. Guiding and inspiring others through knowledge gained from life and traveling and being in this world.

Love from a deeply grounded, initiated woman with profound presence and aww for this life, and all others before and future.

The time is now 💫

I am liberated. We get to be liberated.

Xo S

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